In Memoriam

About 20 years ago, I stood in this very spot and gave a speech about “My favorite character” for the annual speech contest. Naturally the speech was about my eccentric and genius father. But every step of the way, all the way to the district finals, there was my mom watching, smiling, modestly cheering me on as I ranted about my dad. Every step of my life, for 30 years, she was there watching, smiling, and waiting to see what I would do next.

Anyone who’s ever had contact with me knows that I have a good imagination. Until about 3 months ago, the one thing I could NOT even fathom or imagine was life without my mother. Couldn’t even comprehend the idea. Needless to say, the imagery of that very event has dominated my mind since then. Somewhat suddenly, we were confronted with the realism of mortality. We decided there is no rhyme or reason to any of it; if a woman like my mother could be touched by cancer, then none of us are safe. The lessons I have learned in this experience are that we have no choice but to live each day as if it is our last, enjoy the kindness of other people, and hug your mother every day.

One thing my mother didn’t want was for people to all sit in a room and cry about her. If we are crying, let it not be out of sadness from our loss, but out of joy for having been so blessed to have my mother in our lives at all. It is so rare that a person is so selfless, genuine, benevolent, and loving, and we must all reflect on what it means to have been influenced by her.

One of the many times she was in the hospital, my dad found random pieces of paper on the kitchen table where she planted herself when she didn’t feel well. One of them said, “I made a difference.” He has it on the fridge now to remind him that one person in the world really can affect the lives of many people in such a positive way. My mother taught over 900 kids in her lifetime, and even some of their kids. Though she’s not physically here to teach us anymore, the message of her life will make a difference in all of us forever.

Thank you for loving my mother.